Текст песни Sketches - The Superlative vacuum cleaner
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На этой странице находится текст песни Sketches - The Superlative vacuum cleaner, а также перевод песни и видео или клип.
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Scene: The hall of a house Characters: A vacuum cleaner salesman, a housewife The salesman rings the doorbell several times. Housewife: Yes, I'm coming. (She opens the door.) Housewife: Good morning. Salesman: Good morning, young lady. Is your mother in? Housewife: My mother? I'm the mother in this house. What do you want? Salesman: Dust, madam. Housewife: Dust? Salesman: Yes, madam. Dust. Housewife: I haven't got any dust. Salesman: Oh yes you have! (He shakes dust onto the floor from a paper bag.) Salesman: All over your carpet! Housewife: Hey! I've just cleaned this carpet! Why are you putting dust all over it? Salesman: Don't worry, madam. I've got the answer to all your problems here! The Superlative vacuum cleaner! Housewife: The Superlative vacuum cleaner! Why's it called 'Superlative'? Salesman: Because, madam, everything about it is superlative. It's the quickest, the cleanest, the cheapest, the smallest, the smartest, the most economical, the most effective, the most beautiful, the most revolutionary vacuum cleaner in the world. And it's only £65. Housewife: Are you trying to sell me a vacuum cleaner? Salesman: Yes, madam. Housewife: Well, go on, then. Salesman: I've finished, madam. Housewife: Finished? You haven't said very much. What sort of a vacuum cleaner salesman are you? Salesman: Not a very good one, I'm afraid. Housewife: I can see that. Salesman: No, I'm a very bad vacuum cleaner salesman. In fact, I'm the worst salesman in our company. Housewife: The worst? Salesman: The worst, I sometimes think I'm the worst vacuum cleaner salesman in the world. Housewife: Oh, dear. Do you like your job? Salesman: Like my job? No, madam, I detest my job. It's the most boring job in the world. Every day it's the same: 'Good morning, young lady. Is your mother in?...The Superlative vacuum cleaner...The quickest, the cleanest, the cheapest, the smallest...' Housewife: Well, is it the quickest? Salesman: No, it's probably the slowest. Housewife: Is it the cleanest? Salesman: Cleanest? Don't make me laugh! I don't think there's a dirtier vacuum cleaner on the market. And it certainly isn't the cheapest either. Housewife: No, no, no. This is no good at all. Salesman: Pardon? Housewife: Look, do you want to sell this vacuum cleaner or don't you? Salesman: I suppose so. Housewife: Well, your sales technique is all wrong. Salesman: Is it? Housewife: Yes. I could sell vacuum cleaners better than you, Salesman: No, you couldn't. Housewife: Yes, I could. I'll show you. You come into the house, and I'll ring the bell and sell the vacuum cleaner to you. Salesman: You'll sell the vacuum cleaner to me? Housewife: Yes. Salesman: OK. But it isn't as easy as you think. Housewife: We'll see. Go inside and shut the door. Salesman: All right, (The salesman goes into the house and closes the door. The housewife rings the bell. The salesman opens the door.) Salesman: Not today, thank you, (He closes the door. The housewife rings the bell again. The salesman opens the door again, and speaks in a high voice.) Salesman: Yes? Housewife: Hello! Salesman: Hello, Housewife: My goodness me, what a beautiful house you've got! Salesman: Ooh, do you like it? Housewife: Like it? It's the most beautiful house I've seen for a long time. Salesman: Thank you very much, may I come in? Salesman: Er .. Housewife: Thank you, Oh, what a colorful carpet! Salesman: Yes, it's lovely, isn't it? Housewife: It's the most colorful carpet I've seen. I should think it was expensive. Salesman: The most expensive one in the shop. Housewife: And I suppose you've got a very good vacuum cleaner to look after it. Salesman: A vacuum cleaner? No, I haven't. Housewife: You haven't got a vacuum cleaner? Salesman: No. Housewife: Well, madam, this is your lucky day, because I have here the best vacuum cleaner that money can buy: the Superlative vacuum cleaner. Salesman: Is it really good? Housewife: Good? Good? It's the...the... Salesman: (In his own voice) Quickest Housewife: ...the quickest, the... Salesman: Cleanest, Housewife: ...the cleanest, the cheapest, the smallest, the smartest, the most economical, the most effective, the most beautiful, the most revolutionary vacuum cleaner in the world. Salesman: (In a high voice again) Ooh! How much is it? Housewife: Just £65 to you, madam Salesman: I'll buy one. Housewife: Good Salesman: (In his own voice) Er...where's the money? Housewife: It's in my handbag on the kitchen table. Salesman: Oh, right. (In the high voice) I'll just go and get some money. He goes to the kitchen to get the money. Housewife: Good idea, madam. You've made the right decision. (The salesman comes back, speaking in his own voice.) Salesman: Do you know, you're a fantastic saleswoman. Housewife: Ooh! Salesman: You've got a fantastic sales technique. Housewife: Do you think so? Salesman: Yes, you've got the best sales technique I've seen all day. Housewife: Thank you! Salesman: Thank you, madam. (He leaves and closes the door.) Salesman: (Speaking to himself, counting the money) Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, sixty-five. Now that's the way to sell a vacuum cleaner. Смотрите также:Все тексты Sketches >>> |
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Домохозяйка: ... самый быстрый, самый ...
Продавец: Чистейший,
Хозяйка: ... самая чистая, самая дешевая,
самый маленький, самый умный, самый
самый экономичный, самый
эффектный, самый красивый,
самый революционный вакуум
чище в мире.
Продавец: (снова высоким голосом) Ой!
Сколько это стоит?
Домохозяйка: Всего 65 фунтов вам, мадам.
Продавец: Я куплю одну.
Домохозяйка: Хорошо
Продавец: (своим голосом) Э ... где
деньги?
Домохозяйка: Это в моей сумочке на
кухонный стол.
Продавец: Ах да. (Высоким голосом) Я
просто пойди и возьми немного денег.
Он идет на кухню за
деньги.
Домохозяйка: Хорошая идея, мадам. У тебя есть
принял правильное решение.
(Продавец возвращается,
говорит своим голосом.)
Продавец: Знаешь, ты фантастический
продавщица.
Домохозяйка: Ой!
Продавец: У вас фантастические продажи
техника.
Домохозяйка: Вы так думаете?
Продавец: Да, у вас лучшие продажи
технику я видел весь день.
Домохозяйка: Спасибо!
Продавец: Спасибо, мадам.
(Уходит и закрывает дверь.)
Продавец: (Говоря про себя, считая
деньги) Десять, двадцать, тридцать,
сорок, пятьдесят, шестьдесят, шестьдесят пять. Сейчас
вот способ продать пылесос
очиститель.
