Текст песни Леонид Каганов - Ода шпионскому камню

LEONID KAGANOV - ODE TO THE SPY STONE

Made by criminal hands, a spy stone lay on the ground near Moscow city roads and harmed the fatherland as best he could. Since the times of the Soviet Union, overgrown with stalks of grass, he lay an unbearable burden on the soul of Mother Moscow. The townspeople walked past to dance, the citizens walked their dogs, but the insidious British kept recordings of noises and voices. He lay there, tuned in, on. For a long-term espionage grant, thousands of British scientists embodied genius and talent in it. Scoured inside with a sharpening bur, imperceptible (even at close range), he was put in Moscow with the device, carefully hidden inside.

He was lying on the sidelines invisible. People walked by along the path. And inside the gears buzzed and the film rolled back and forth. The evil British genius and mercenary, using his great talent, assembled a detector receiver with a salt battery "Krona". At night, through the stone wall, in the cold darkness, imperceptible to us, the mechanism poked out its antenna and drove the Morse code along all the waves. And the stone that monitored the ether served as a central collection point. In general, the spy world has never seen such an insidious device. A whole billion British pounds was well spent on it. To be honest, there weren't any Phobos-soil objects nearby.

In a crowded park, right under your feet, like a heap of rubbish and shit, a spy stone lay for thirty years - and the country did not know about it! We suspected the British who were pretending friendship for many years, only all the Russian special services could not penetrate their secret. Stupid, naive as children, completely lagging behind in technology, thought the source was on the Internet, in GPS, WiFi and GSM. The Russian counterintelligence was doing stupid useless work: for so many years it had been catching nano-bots, microchips and antibodies. The satellites searched deep in the sky, listened to Skype, Torrent and Web traffic in all corners of the Earth, but could not catch the encryption.

Who knew that right under their feet, brazenly, boldly, the British laid out a stone made in the style of "steampunk" on the front flank? Next to him in our central park, children buried hamsters - among bottles, cans and poop, among syringes, cones and bulls. Hundreds of citizens vomited beside him. Once three Caucasians, drunk in the smoke, beat a prostitute with them once, and then she beat them with them. A thousand cops that wandered here, people from intelligence with their minds - no one gave a shit about this stone (figuratively and literally).

But in the end, the secret services managed to find out the secret of the century! Although the man who discovered it was not a man - a former search service dog. Without shelter, benefits and affection, the dog was once driven out into the yard, since he was Caucasian according to his passport (which has been bad for a long time). The homeless dog in the park in the alley sometimes hid from people from the North Korean embassy, ​​full of unexpected ideas. And once here, by the will of God, I experienced pain in the causal place: you would have lifted your leg over a stone like that, having received a nine-volt blow!

Later, everyone extolled him, later congratulated the fellow: with endurance worthy of the dog of Russia, he finished the job to the end! To end! Forward! Not a drop by! Sparks and smoke appeared! A stone flared up, inhaled with smoke, cracked, creaked, clicked and fell silent! The dog is now a guard at the base - restored to the rank, all the cases. And the British are still without communication. This is how the war of good and evil goes on.