Thoughts dirty the brain
In search of a muse, he tore the hair on his head. I was looking .. looking .. And in the end, a smoky room, in the player dom! No and only my thoughts that evenly handwritten lay in this text document. No one but himself will help me. Recently, more and more often I want to escape from the clutches of a wild beast. And in this life people are the beast. An unquenchable flame burns in me, desire will be limited from this world. More and more often I want to be alone, to lock myself behind an armored door and not let anyone in. The desire to change presses me. What I can do, I change myself. The hateful attitude towards the world in general, came after certain events. No, it is not in Her, although She also played a rather important role. I let people into my life, but I don't want ... I don't want to get closer. I need attention, but I also close myself in 4 walls in spite of myself ... Lately so much has happened that if you had told me this a year ago, I would never have believed it. I am already a different person, but still with the same soul that requires love. I practically stopped sleeping. After waking up, I feel lonely. And no matter how strange it suits me so far. '' When I open my eyes, I usually want to scream. Loud. There is a lump in the throat, and there is not enough air. The air that I breathed before. I love pain, for me it is like a substitute for love. I feel at least some feelings. It sounds stupid, I know ... I understand ... But it's easier for me. Lost interest in conversations. I get tired of listening, I don't feel like talking myself. It suits me to be so, quite ... I have no strength for any movement. Perhaps I believe in fairy tales. A princess will appear and pull me out of this shit, no matter how hard I resist. Although, I can't believe that someone will succeed, I won't allow it. Mental psychosis. I become insignificant, even the most disgusting moments. Fuck. Just give a fuck. I just disappear from the life of relatives and friends, and I constantly find someone new, for a short time. I'm afraid of attachment, I'm afraid of constancy. I live, no matter what, pulling a smile, and just dreaming. These were silly thoughts out loud.
