Текст песни Михаил Жванецкий - Одесский Телефон

It is a misconception that you have to hook a man . In Odessa phone - crowds of people in a single tube . You just shoot , there are already beginning to fuss :

- This is who joined us ?
- Did not you hear?
- Yes, I hear , I hear . But he was silent . Are you overhear ?
- I did not overhear . I speak from the hospital . I need Mila . Mila , I need soap. Soap, I need.
- You've just joined ?
- Yes, it has long been said .
- No, this one, with soap , long time.
- And this one listens . What do you listen ?
- I do not listen . I look forward to when you're done . You could not put a tube?
- Why should we put the tube? We started before you.
- But all the time I get ...
- And all the time I hit it .
- Excuse me , I'm not interested in your conversations .
- And I'm not interested yours.
- Hello , comrades, ladies and gentlemen , I'm sorry , I'm out of the hospital . We have one phone for forty patients. I plead . I was robbed of soap, you represent ! Hello, Mila ?
- Yes .
- It's not you .
- I, I .
- Mila !
- Ya
- Is that Mila ?
- I, I .
- Mila !
- Yes!
- What?
- Yes.
- Hello, this is lovely ?
- I, I .
- Lord , citizens , comrades , I'm out of the hospital , stop ! I will type again . Allo .
- Ya
- This is Mila ?
- I, I .
- Who is it?
- Ya
- Is this you?
- Yes!
- What are you, bitch , passed into English ? Sorry, I will type again now . Hello, this is Mila ?
- What is Mila ? Guys , am I blue ? Come on up, give a talk .
- Hello , citizens , comrades. I'm quiet. We have a very important business call. Just three minutes of silence . Very, very important .
- Hello .
- Well .
- So did you give him ?
- Gave .
- And he took ?
- Took .
- Why he did not do anything ? Or do you not give ?
- Gave .
- And he took ?
- Took .
- Why he did not do anything . You're given ?
- All .
- And he took ?
- All taken .
- And you said that we need ?
- Said .
- And he gave ?
- And he gave .
- And he took ?
- And he took them.
- Why he did not do anything ?
- Maybe you can not give ?
- What could I give ?
- And he took ?
- Took .
- Maybe he did not have time ?
- In time, in time. He quickly took ocheno .
- And did you tell him how much?
- Said .
- And he took ?
- Took .
- And you said we should sign ?
- Said .
- What did he say ?
- Leave it .
- And did you leave ?
- And I left .
- And he gave him everything?
- And he gave him everything.
- And he took ?
- And he took them.
- All of them?
- All .
( Pause. )
- Well , let's wait .
- Look, maybe even give ?
- And he will take ?
- Will take .
- The main thing is , that he took .
- Will take .
- Then we have to give.
- I think I 'll give .
- Hello , lady , enter me please , 32-48-75 , I did not connect.
- What , you little people in the tube ?
- Well , I'm just very urgent need. Hello, Tolia ..
- Wait , I have not yet won .
- Hello , Tolia . This Tolia ?
- Yes .
- Toll ...
- What Tolia ? Disconnect .
- No . Tolia , Tolia , do not disconnect .
- Disconnect . I speak from the hospital . I need soap . I stole soap seriously ill .
- Tolia , are you in the hospital?
- Oh, no .
- How < none> .
- I speak from the hospital .
- It's not me .
- Mila , do not listen , I'm in the hospital. He lies all .
- I'm talking Tolia . Tolia , you must pass the questionnaire.
- So where to go?
- Go to the Visa Office .
- Go to the hospital.
- Since the Visa Office or in the hospital?
- In the Visa Office . Tolia , you must pass ... Hello, who joined there ?
- Evdokia Ivanovna , allo ...
First : - Yes .
Second - Yes .
Third : - Yes .
- Who is it joined ?
- This is all you now , silly sassy .
- Hello , Evdokia Ivanovna , turn on the TV and say the sound is there or not? Allo .
First : - Yes .
Second - Yes .
Third : - Yes .
- Can you hear me , Evdokia Ivanovna ? ..
First : - Yes .
Second - Yes .
Third : - Yes .
- They then require you to say . They do not want to come . They require you to say yes or no sound ?
- I do not know . Noise is. Noise is the sound ?
- No noise - it does not sound. They say , that you said, the sound is there or not?
- I do not know . Noise is. Noise is the sound ?
- No noise - at